My mother called this morning, and this started the happy but anxious feeling that I get in my tummy whenever I get a call from my family. I heard about the passing of my father this way, and I’ve developed quite a stay-away feeling for the phone. I don’t like to check messages, and I tend to not like to make calls with it. Its gotten so bad that even when I receive messages for work, I usually don’t listen to those either!

Well as my instincts told me, this wasn’t so good news. My 96 year-old grandmother is not feeling well. Apparently, she hasn’t been feeling well and my Mum is just informing me about it. I got a flashback to my father in hospital, when my Mum called me to let me know that he was doing even worse. Me, on my way to come over to see him the next day, that wasn’t something that I wanted to hear. At the time, after we finished talking, she asked me if I wanted to talk to him. I understood the sub-text. This may be the last opportunity that I get to talk to him. I was petrified. My father made a good attempt to talk to me, and I tried, in my very best ga, to say “I’m on my way, Dad…I’ll be seeing you soon. I’m bringing you lots of things that will help you. Things will get better.” And his standard response of course was…”Its already better” Little did I know at the time that was going to be the last time I spoke to him, since he passed before I got I arrived from my trans-atlantic trip 3 days later.

So when my Mum asked if I wanted to talk to my grandmother today, my heart skipped a beat, as I dutifully spoke some panic-inspired ga to try my best to have a conversation with my grandmother. Just to set the stage, my grandmother is hard of hearing. But I have one of those phones that you can increase the mic volume, so my standard practice when talking to her is to increase the volume, and start shouting at the phone. But we usually have quite a light, joking banter about the goings on of the day. Today though, it was a different story. The first thing that came to mind was this exchange:

Me: “Hello Maanaa, I heard you were sick”
Maanaa: “Yes, I’m not feeling well”
Me: “Why”
Maanaa: “Talk to your Mum, she’ll fill you in”

Then she hands the phone over to my Mum. Well of course, that would probably be my reaction too, if some fool got on the phone, after being told I’m not well, to ask me why I’m not well. Hello?!? I felt terrible when I got the news that she wasn’t feeling well, and I felt even worse then. I realized that in my attempt to stay away from the bad news, I’d made the situation even worse. You see I’ve always thought that my connection with my grandmother was a special one. I was named after her (both my grandmothers have the same name), and she always refers to me as “Namesake” and I’m always gleaming when she does that. I love that. I love snuggling up to her, and touching her face and hands. I love joking with her, and hearing her stories of old. Most of her siblings and family have died-off, and she often talks about how she’s the only one left. She was truly hurt by my fathers passing – in her mind, it didn’t make sense that he left before she did. And she’d always tell me about the times they spent together.

So yes, I’m a bit shaken up, and would like to summon all the earths positive energy to get my Maanaa better again.So that I will once again banter with her about how “chumo e hi” (loosely translated as the deed is good) or our standard “eez alright”.

Here she is, being the comedian she likes to be...
Part1: Mum and Maanaa interview, with song and dance:


Part2:


Part3:

I love to hear intelligent women speak!

We're so sexy!

Enough!

I have to get something off my chest - I'm pretty miffed right now!

No matter what you feel about marriage, I think its hard to miss the point that there are civil rights which are being denied to a group of citizens. That just is not right, no matter how much squinting you do.

I have always been of the mindset that marriage was an ancient/archaic construct that just does not make any more sense in our current paradigm in the 21st century, and our evolved way of living - no matter who is doing it, heterosexuals, homosexuals, men or women. But in a country where there is supposed separation of church and state, and where there are rights being offered to its citizenry, I am incensed that people are trying to make my decision for me - I'd like to make my own choice about whether or not I want to marry as a gay woman in a committed relationship.

Lets get over this ridiculousness. If there are things to talk about, lets do that - its about time to step out, speak out, learn to accept, understand, and support each other! We don't all have to agree - I don't like the way that I perceive Muslim women are treated in Islamic cultures, but I'm not going to try to stop them from their RIGHT to be doing what they believe they should be doing. I can start a discussion to learn more and share my thoughts with them. We all need to remember that we all have control over what we believe in and do, but others may not believe in, or do the same things, and as consenting adults, we all can do what we feel is right spiritually or religiously. But that's where it should stop - we even have laws against discriminating against a person based on their religion, race, gender, handicap, etc. etc. exactly for that reason! How can you not see this is all in the same bucket?! And people, please lets not get it twisted - marriage between same-sex couples would logically lead to wanting to marry siblings, or goats??! Come on!! As a friend pointed out, the Bible is already full of those stories - lets not go there!

I've come up with some things that I will be doing to really make this inconsistency and unfair treatment of people a thing of the past. I suggest you consider doing so too:

1. I will start referring to all married couples (heterosexual or otherwise) as Partners, not as Husband or Wife. e.g. "How is your Partner doing - did you take that trip you were planning on taking?" I believe that we should normalize the terms that are used to make it this an even playing field - the old archaic paradigm just won't cut it anymore

2. The people at civilrightsfront.com have a great suggestion to send postcards to President-elect Obama asking to repeal DOMA and "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". Plan is to send one a week (if not daily). For those of you who can do this, they suggest having a postcard party and having all your friends do it too! Think of the statement that thousands and thousands of postcards from around the country will make.

3. I encourage anyone who wants to have a discussion to learn more and share their thoughts with me to do so. I'd love the opportunity to talk through different points of view if its being presented in a positive and respectful manner. So if you want to, you know where to reach me.

I can't sit idly by anymore. Albert Einstein says it best:
"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”