Thursday, August 14, 2008

"Orientation"..."Preference"...whats the difference?!?

A topic was raised on AfterEllen yesterday to do with the difference between "Sexual Preference" and "Sexual Orientation" with the former being seen as likening being gay as something that is a choice, instead of the way someone is.

The problem is that we're using a flawed term that describes choice, to mean something that people are trying to describe as characteristics that they are born with (similar to others listed above) Orientation is wrong, and so is preference. Disposition would be closer to the truth...or Predisposition...or even Propensity. All of these indicate more of the 'I was born that way' statement. I actually think that if you're looking for a word similar to the others that describe birth characteristics such as race, gender, etc., the more applicable term is SEXUALITY, isn't it? Its not the best, and if I were to come up with a term/word, I'd probably create something that was more inclusive (sexuality makes it seem like its only related to sexual attraction, whereas there is also emotional and spiritual connectedness that makes up the attraction).

So lets start the revolution - next time someone asks you about your 'sexual orientation' or your 'sexual preference', correct them and state that you prefer to use the term 'sexuality' or you 'sexual predisposition' - that goes for everybody, whether you're 'straight', 'gay', or anything in between!

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Monday, August 11, 2008

"Dumbing-down"?

I've made some epiphanies...

  1. There are women who are feminists, and there are women who are sexist
  2. There are men who are feminists, and there are men who are sexist
  3. There are lesbians who are feminists, and there are lesbians who are sexist
  4. Being a woman doesn't equate to being a feminist
  5. Being a lesbian doesn't equate to being a feminist
  6. Being male, doesn't equate to being sexist
  7. I am a feminist!
They may not seem significant in the whole realm of things, and of other more worldly, far-reaching epiphanies...but its my epiphany, and I'll own it.

I feel that I should probably define what I mean when I say "feminist", or at least describe what they are not, so that I'm not confusing those with pre-concieved notions of what that means. NOTE: This is not based on source-attested, scientific research - its what came to me...capiche? To me, a feminist:
  • is not someone who equates gender with roles, so for example,
  • would not say "changing tires is not a feminine thing to do...its a masculine trait"
  • does not think a woman's place is in the kitchen while her partner brings home the so-called 'bacon!'
  • believes women can be passive or aggressive; ie. are capable of a full suite of human emotions and self empowerment
  • does not believe that women need to wear heels, lipstick, long hair, 'titty-tops', short skirts, tight clothing, see-through clothes, g-strings, blonde hair, or 'insert barbie-istic term here' to be sexy.

I could go on, but I don't want to...I still have a long way to go to being able to forgive those women who are not feminists, and especially lesbian women who are not feminists. I just can't get my brain to wrap around the concept of women who do not believe in self-empowerment, and equality, and who are ok with perpetuating negative stereotypes, and self-limiting, low self-esteem messages that allow limited or no progress for strengthening the female spirit.

I'm a work in progress, so I'm working on not judging people, and trying to figure out a way to encourage discourse so we can all learn from each others opinions and experiences. My new campaign is the smarting-up of society! Any takers?!?

Saturday, August 09, 2008

The 8's!

Yesterday was 080808! Now as someone who loves numbers, do you know what that does to me? More than it should! And there’s something about even numbers, but again, the aspect of variety is still in play, because there is an odd number of them! You just can't get away from these life metaphors! The ying-yang, ebbs and flows of life...you just can't.

So what do these numbers mean, or represent to me? It provides me a moment to recognize the present, look to see what the future brings, and relish at what that means for the past...there are only 3 more opportunities in this century, for us to see these repeated numbers! Is that amazing or what?!?

I mean, can you believe that in our lifetime, this is one of the last times we'll see this phenomenon...we have 3 more chances: 09/09/09, 10/10/10, 11/11/11, and 12/12/12 And looking back, since this phenomenon only occurs during 12 years of each entire century, to what people in the last century were doing for these dates - were they seen as religious days, days of evil, days of celebration? I remember the raucous and preparations for 2000 - but not many ripples were made for 01/01/01 - the first of these dates this century! It also represents one of the times of the year, when at least 2 methods of recording the dates align. As someone who hails from the British system (and many other countries use the same format as the British), before my arrival in the U.S., I was used to writing the date as dd/mm/yy...different from the U.S.'s mm/dd/yy (and other US influenced countries that use the same format).


Check out this map from wikipedia - which shows the distribution of the representation of date formats...blue is for countries that use dd/mm/yyy - you can see that they are the majority!



I'll have to look further into the history of date formats. But regardless, on this fine, beautifully sunny day, the almost all of the rest of the world, and those of us North Americans will be joined in unity...recording the same date! 08/08/08 - We are one after all!! Enjoy your 8s!

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We have so many metaphors for life around us, that it’s still amazing to see us blindly frolicking around, ignorant, and almost innocently going through our fateful, yet unknown walks of life. I did say 'almost innocently' didn't I? That's because some of our actions show how deliberate and planful we are. Sure, we say we don't know what happens to us when we die...we're blissfully unaware of the circumstances that exist after our passing...in the world that we leave, and the body that we disinherit.

I bought some sweet potatoes a while ago, and of course, there were a couple left that we didn't get to cook. They started growing buds, and then stalks and leaves. So I got to thinking...instead of going ahead and trying to cut out the buds and cook these potatoes,

why not see what happens when I try to grow them? I mean I've seen this happen countless times, and I've either ignored the potatoes to the point where they are shriveled up and have to be thrown out...or I actually do cut them up and cook them and then, throw them out!

So I searched online for how to grow sweet potatoes – I didn't think you could just take the whole potato and replant the thing! Yes, I'm a bit less green than that! I was amazed happy to find out that you really could plant these - I mean it makes sense, since there were actual stalks and leaves coming from them, just from lying in a basket in my warm kitchen! I cut the potato up around the stalks - got about 10 pieces that are called "potato seeds", and you're supposed to leave them out in the open to calcify just so they have some protection from water, etc. once you plant them. Did all that, and found a pot to put them in (I wanted to grow them organically, and didn't have time to create a plant box).

Well, what do you know...I was amazed at how quickly it is growing - can you believe my tiny little potato cutlings, from a potato that was lying in a basket in my kitchen, and was a candidate for the trashcan...fast forward to day, is the gorgeously blooming, and leafy plant below?



What other metaphor for life do you need to see? I get the message loudly and clearly! Show the world what you're capable of, put the message out there for what you want to achieve, you'll need help, of course, since you can't do it all on your own. Once you get that help, tenuously take root, and hold on and push hard, work hard, live hard to continue your dream. You may not succeed this time around, but this is a learning that is not for waste...the next time around, you and the forces around you will be stronger and more tenuous...that can only breed success...and some delicious sweet potatoes!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

So I was thinking...

So for some reason, I've been finding some great, amazing, throat-gurgling independent and creative works that I just simply have to share with you!

This most recent one was extremely unexpected! And it got me thinking...what if we led misical lives? Can you imagine, how can anyone be mad for long, if they had to do it in soprano, mezzo-soprano, contralto, countertenor, tenor, baritone, or bass?

There really isn’t anyway to insulate society from the level of negativity that comes in communications. The only way out is to dig into ourselves, and recognize the error of our ways, and learn positive ways to communicate!

Enjoy the video for what its worth – I did!


Barackula from mark mannschreck on Vimeo.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

I found it!

There are times when you see something thought-provoking, hear an illuminating sound, or smell an intriguing scent, and you know that something about it just moves you and connects in a way that is rare.

That is how I felt when I heard the sound and music of Asa [pronounced Asha], an amazingly talented musician (and of course, it doesn't hurt her cause for me that she is also Nigerian!). Her sound is so different and unexpected, and her music so fresh, that it was impossible for me not to go look for more information about her, and to make sure to add everything that she has done to my small music collection. She has such an important point of view and the message is unmistakeable in her music. She says

"I want to sing for the world, man or woman...I want my word to be positive...I want to inspire the world, I want to change some people before I leave."
Well, she sure changed me! I will be sitting in the first row, next time she comes to the U.S. and who knows, I may even jump ship and go find one of her European concert! And I can't decide on which song is my favourite on her album...I've rarely been in this quandry (So Beautiful is the favourite of the minute, with Jailer, Fire on the mountain, 360 degrees, Bibanké, Subway, No one knows, Awé, and Peace coming in very close seconds!!)

But I can't keep this as my own little secret - good things are meant to be shared, and so please make sure to check out the video below, and then run, don't walk to your nearest music store to support this powerful and unique life-force, and remember to share her with your friends and family! Check out Fire on the Mountain, and Jailer videos below:

Here is the most popular video - Fire on the Mountain:



This is her 2nd official video, I believe. Its Jailer




Don't say I don't look out for you! I've been working very hard at it ;-)