Its time to move on PLL...

 
Dear PLL, 
I've decided thAt it is time we broke up. Each time in the past I've felt this way, Heather Hogan's Pretty Little Liars recaps on afterellen.com and #BooRadleyVanCullen tweet summaries have always found their way to my heart, and brought me back to you. But I can't do this anymore. From the beginning of our relationship, I was one of the unlikeliest partners you'd ever have. I don't have cable TV - so I see you on hulu as soon as they make you available. I even signed up for a Hulu account so I could see more of you. You were worth $7.99 every month. 

I knew I was probably too old for you, I mean I turn 42 today! I don't even have a facebook account, let alone twitter, instagram and all the other youngun's passports of today. Many times, I feel like how I imagine Ezra must feel in his illegal relationship with Aria, even worse since our age gap is probably much wider...I hoped that maybe nobody will know, that the relationship would grow on me and any others who knew about it...I even stopped sneaking around with you and shared you with my spouse who enjoys the relationship just as much these days - she is/was completely hooked. You really just seemed mature even with your youthful appearance. And you really pulled the wool over my eyes, seducing me with Emily's coming out process, and her girlfriends, dead or alive. I try not to think about your age too much actually - which is why I feel Ezra's relationship epitomizes my feelings for you. 

I am much older than you, and it is now clear that you are definitely not mature for your age. In fact, if anything, you are regressing with each day like that movie with Brad Pitt that I never bothered to watch, remember, the one where he gets younger and younger, I don't know, there's just something about Brad Pitt that keeps me away from his movies...but I digress...its clear in the IQ that your'e required to have to watch the show, that we are have reached the single digit years now...I think an audience of 7yr olds may be who you're looking for these days. Perhaps you're just trying to make me break up with you because you're tired of this relationship too? 

 I mean, you continuously have characters that don't seem to learn from their situation. Maybe it'd help if you allowed them to stay in school for some episodes, or even have parents once in a while. But what really did it for me, was your last episode. I mean, many things have just not made sense or been bizarre for a while, but I was willing to overlook them. Even how Spencer lost her brain once she found out Toby was A. The only silver lining was that it seemed that the other girls somehow automatically got some of Spencer's brain when it went AWOL - I mean, I was cheering Emily on with her sleuthing super techie ways when she was able to email a list of customers to herself...we both know you took huge steps back with her, when you had her close the curtain on Jason in the hospital, but again, I gave you a pass. Then you had Hanna solve a great mystery with her boyfriend and his father...even experienced private detectives miss out on that all the time. And you really wooed me when you actually showed a parent for a change...that is, a parent who cared about what her child was doing/thinking/and where she was. Oh how you wooed me. 

But now this. You really have hit a new low...literally in age and IQ. You want me to believe in characters who don't seem to have any intelligence whatsoever. I heard your new audience of 7year olds scream in exasperation this week! In the last show, you had Emily say that doing things alone is what gets us in trouble. Then the very next episode, you have her doing exactly that...even worse because she is going after someone she was told was the infamous letter of the alphabet! Hannah and Aria, two teenage girls push a police car into a lake...far enough that it sinks?!?!?!!? Then Spencer...need I say more? Spencer, really? The A team needs to just replace the FBI, the CIA, the KGB, Scotland Yard, and all the security agencies listed on wikepedia's list of intelligence agencies around the world and Mona should just become president. Imagine our enemies...how they will all fall when they start getting their "A" texts!!! "A"mazing!! I hope that wasn't a spoiler - the Mona becoming president thing...please don't go there!! 

 I mean really - this is no longer fun staying with you. Its actually quite painful. So I've decided that its time I move on. But you know I can't stay completely away...its too early. So I'll continue my relationship with Heather Hogan's recaps over on afterellen.com and #BooRadleyVanCullen tweet summaries...she adds an IQ filter that helps my brain stay in my skull...so in a way, I guess its not completely over (for now) 

Just so you know, the only way you can get me back, is if somewhere in all of this, 

A) Pun intended, one of the girls is dreaming/having a nightmare and will wake up soon - these insane behaviors will make sense in a dream sequence 

B) You are keeping a card in your back pocket that shows that the girls knew all along and were playing along...Spencer getting herself locked up is just part of a grand scheme that they will unleash on the A team in an episode around the corner 

C) The girls are all dead too...in fact, everyone on the show is dead, and Hannahs Mum is the only parent we keep seeing because lets face it, she sees dead people. 

Its been fun - wish you the best, 
S

La compassion humaine

Hier, malheureusement, j'ai dû assister à un enterrement. Je suis toujours en état du choc - parce que les circonstances sont incroyablement triste. Mais je ne veux pas parler de la haine dont on avait dû avoir pour causer une mort comme celle-ci. Je suis ici aujourd'hui seulement pour parler de quelque chose qui m'a fait penser de l'humanité en générale. Donc hier, après le service funèbre à une mosquée, nous tous les pleureuses nous sommes mis dans notre propre voitures, et nous avons commencé à suivre la fourgon mortuaire, le corbillard. Il y'avait beaucoup de gens, et donc, la cortège de véhicule était vraiment longue. Je pense que nous nous trouverions près de la fin. Mais ce qui m'a étonné et qui m'a frappé c'était comment l'univers - les autres voitures, les piétons, et les pleureuses ont collaboré, sans parler un mot, en nous permettant de continuer en paix. On n'a jamais couper la cortège même quand les feus étaient rouge pour nous, même quand nous avons dû arrêter et bloquer la circulation. On a attendu patiemment pour que nous tous avions traversé. Je n'ai même entendu aucun des gens klaxonner pendant le trajet au cimetière. Et donc, je me suis demandé pourquoi c'est toujours comme cela? Pourquoi nous, les êtres humains sont plus sympa quand on comprend ou entend qu'il s'est passé quelque chose de triste (une maladie, une mort, ou les chose autres tristesse de la vie) Pourquoi pas assumer ou fixer dans notre mémoires qu'il y'en a des autres troubles de la vie, et à un moment donné, on ne sait jamais ce qu'on a dans la vie; les souffrances quotidienne, hebdomadaire, de toujours. C'était vraiment triste pour moi de penser au manque de la civilité, du soutien, d'amour simple et basique entre nous. Il y'a toujours quelque chose à détester. Toujours plus de la haine que de l'amour. Mais nous en avons besoin de l'amour, nous avons hâte d'être aimer, d'avoir quelqu'uns qui vont s'occuper et prendre soin de nous. Et je pense que nous ne sommes pas sympa parce que nous n'avons pas confiance qu'on sera capable de répondre à notre amour. Et dans ce cas, nous serions peiné et vide de sentiments. Je comprends - mais je pense quand même que c'est vraiment pas difficile à savoir ou comprendre comment faire de son mieux tout le temps. Je ne parle que le fait d'avoir un peu de compassion. C'est tout - juste un peu. Si on se souviens toujours que les autres gens ont leur propres problèmes juste comme nous, et donc, si chacun entre nous n'essaie que de penser à cela, je pense que nous aurions bientôt des êtres plutôt sympa!

Yesterday, unfortunately, I had to attend a funeral. I am still in a state of shock – because of the circumstances which are still unbelievably sad. But I don’t want to address or talk about the hatred that someone has to have had to cause a death like this. I am here today, only to talk about something that made me think of humanity in general. So yesterday, after the funeral service at the mosque, we, all the mourners, got into our own cars, and we started to follow the hearse. There were a lot of people, so the funeral procession was really long. I think we were near the end. But what surprised me, and struck me was how the universe – the other drivers on the road, the pedestrians, and us the mourners managed to collaborate, without speaking a word,in letting us continue in peace. No one cut the procession, even when the traffic lights were red for us, even when we had to stop and block the traffic. They waited patiently, until we had all crossed. I didn’t even hear any people blowing their horn during the entire journey to the cemetery. And so, I asked myself, why is it always like this? Why are we, human beings so much kinder when we understand or hear that something sad has happened (an illness, a death, or other sadnesses of life). Why don’t we assume or fix in our memories that there are other issues in life, and at any given moment, we never know what one is going through in life; the daily, weekly, or forever sufferances. Its always really sad for me to think of the loss of civility, of support, of simple and basic love between us all. There is always something to hate. Always more hatred than love. And yet we know that we need love so much more. We yearn to be loved, to have our people who will be there for us, and take care of us. And I think that the reason we’re not kinder is that we don’t trust that others are capable of reciprocating our love. And in that case, we would be hurt and empty of feeling. I understand – but I also think that it’s really not difficult to know our understand how to do one’s best all the time. I’m only referencing the idea of having just a bit of compassion. That’s all – just a bit. If we always remember that other people have their own problems, just like us, and therefore, if each one of us just tries to think about just that – I think that we would soon have a pretty kind human race!

Straight Talk

After the current tragedy, I felt it important to gather some thoughts on the subject. Over the last 4 or 5 years, I've developed a closer relationship with death; I might say, more than I ever thought was possible, especially as a consequence of personally experiencing probably over a 1000% increase over the previous 33 years of my life. I started out being somewhat fearful of it, in its various forms - thinking about losing a loved one is never an easy souvenir to conjure. However, I'm starting to become a bit more inured to it and to accept that as inevitable as death is, we really have to construct a similar system to deal with it, as we do with planning out our lives. We are all fatally predisposed. Some of us, luckily or unluckily, are able to be cognisant of the approximate time of death, due to disease, crime, or accident. However, the majority of us will live and not know when we'll die. That is just a plain fact.

So in light of this knowledege, here are a few things that I've been thinking about, to help ease our transition into the next phase of our existence (or lack thereof):


1. Live each day, loving as though it were your last. Note the word "loving" and not "living". This includes loving your own self, and taking care of your health. Imagine that your loved one suddenly dies the next day. What would you regret not having done - that's what I think loving is about. Express the words of love now, and you'll live without regret in the event that you are no longer able to express them in person.

2. Relish your experiences; slow down and enjoy the love. You don't take the work or the money with you, but the love is something that I believe remains in your soul. Reflect on it, turn it over and shine it, pass it on.

3. Make necessary arrangements. Our banks and employers have us sign any number of contractual agreements to account for many different scenarios, to ensure they receive their payments. Lets do the same for our own lives. Make sure that you have at least a basic will, a life insurance policy (to cover your funeral expenses, as well as family members you are responsible for), and a clear statement pertaining to what to do with respect to the care of your family. Make sure that someone knows where all this information is (and not just your partner - your siblings, closest friends, and children may also need to know). Now this doesn't mean that you need to have your funeral program printed and ready to be sent out. Some people might want to do all that, but really, you can just make sure to specify in writing and perhaps verbally to those who love you, your preferred arrangements when it comes to your funeral and burial. If you have specific religious requirements; make them known - not everyone is aware of any constraints pertaining to religious, geographic, cultural, familial, or other of your varied memberships and affiliations. So make them known - if you want to be cremated wearing your favourite red baseball hat and your ashes sprinkled at the seaside at Laboney, someone needs to know that, or you might very well find yourself buried in a concrete-lined grave, wearing your green flowery suit that you intended to donate to charity.

4. We have no control - absolutely none, in where the life dice will fall. I couldn't tell you that I'll still be here tomorrow, nor what health condition I'll be in. However, what I can tell you is that I love, I appreciate love in my life, and I feel happy and lucky to be where I am in life. Whatever may come, I may be here, I may cry, I may laugh, its just the cycle of life - the same cycle happens to trees, stones, lions, flies, hair, viruses, fish, even our planet will go through its cycle. Its inevitable, and it'll be ok, and life will move on - it'll find a way through. Just help it along by doing as much of the above as you can.

p.s. For me, here are the summary details:
1. I know that you know that I love my family and close friends, and look forward to sharing more love! We may not always remain in constant contact, but know that you make a difference in my life, and I'm glad that I get to share a part of it with them.
2. I have a will that can easily be found in my personal affairs, and will be looking to get a life insurance policy within the next month.
3. I've already stated several times that I want to be cremated, not important what I'm wearing in that event! Not important to me whether there is a church service, and what denomination it is - I'm leaving the choice to my spouse primarily, and the rest of the family. I'd like my ashes to be spread at our home in US and our family home in Ghana. I want the minimal amount of money wasted on my funeral arrangements - save the money and have a great get-together, reminiscing, cracking jokes, eating my favourite foods (plantain must be served!)- and remembering that my goal in life is to live it to the fullest, loving and sharing, being there for each other. Better yet, travel somewhere fun, and have a reunion while learning a new language, and navigating through its culture!

Let me know of any additional ideas that you might impart with me.

Until next time...(perhaps), love always

Tell me you don't love Janelle Monáe...

...and I'll tell you about the psychiatrist you need to see!

Le jeu de la vie

Le jeu de la vie

The game of life

Je ne pourrais dormir…j’avais toujours mal a la dent, donc, c’était pas difficile pour moi de me lever quand le téléphone à sonné et c’était ma femme qui m’a appelé à minuit. Après ça, j’ai allumé la télévision, et je me suis trouvé sur une émission d’Oprah. C’était un sujet vraiment intéressant, et pour beaucoup de gens le monde entier, c’est un sujet que probablement, on ne va jamais essayer de comprendre. Il y’avait un homme, qui avait changé son sexe et il était devenu une femme. Il a raconté son séjour du début et quand elle s’était rendue compte qu’elle ne pourrait plus supporter sa vie comme un homme. Au même temps, j’ai aussi pensé d’un podcast que j’ai trouvé il y’a quelques jours…d’un lycée française avec un leçon du grammaire français…sur le genre. Et la professeur a expliqué que avec le genre, il n’y a que deux. On est un garçon ou une fille…et on ne peut pas changer son genre… C’est clair que c’est pas toujours vrai ! Pour la femme d’Oprah, après son changement, elle a trouvé que ses amis du collège lui à accepter plus facilement qu’elle a attendu…comme un homme, qui à changé et est devenue une femme…qui est enfin aussi homosexuelle. À mon avis, c’était un peu plus facile pour ses amis, parce qu’elle est devenue une femme joli et plutôt « féminine ». Si elle était devenue moche…avec une affectation plus « masculine » que « féminine », je pense que ceci aurait été une autre histoire ! Mais après avoir penser de tout cela un peu plus, j’ai décidé que la vie est comme un jeu comme scrabble. Chaque joueur a ses pièces, et le but du jeu et d’essayer de créer des mots de son coté sur son panneau privé, après en avoir profondément et intelligemment pensé, et après, essayer de le joindre au mots sur le « grand panneau de jeu » et de le défendre contre les autres joueurs si l’on ne le croit pas qu’il soit vrai. Ce n’est pas aussi simple qu’il n’y paraît (mon cours de jour !)

I couldn’t sleep…I was still feeling the pain from my toothache, so it wasn’t difficult for me to wake up when the telephone rang and it was my wife, calling me at midnight ! After that, I switched on the telly and found myself watching Oprah. This show was pretty interesting and probably for most people in the world, its a subject that they won’t even attempt to understand. There was a man who had changed his sex and had become a woman. He recounted his journey from beginning, and when she realised when she could no longer bear to live her life as a man. At the same time, I also thought about a podcast that I happened upon the other day…it was made by a french primary school, and was a lesson on french grammar, and the gender of words. The professor explained that with gender, there are only 2 genders. One is either a boy or a girl…and one cannot change their gender….really? Well its clear that thats not always true ! For the woman on Oprah, after her change, she found that her friends from high school accepted her more easily than she expected…as a man, who changed and became a woman…who finally is also homosexual. My opinion is that it was a bit easier for her friends because she became a « pretty » woman who was rather « feminine ». If she had turned into an ugly woman with behaviours which are thought to be more « masculine », I think that this would have been another story ! But after having thought about this further, I’ve decided that life is like a game of scrabble. Each player has their game pieces/letters, and the goal of the game is to try to create words of your own on your private panel, after having thought deeply and intellectually about it, and then after your decision, trying to join your word to the big game board and defending it against the other players who may not believe the word exists. It really is not as simple as it appears ! (lesson of the day)

Pauvre de moi!

J'ai mal aux dents! J'ai bien mal aux dents! Pourquoi moi? Pourquoi le week-end - et pourquoi cela m'est arrivé le vendredi avant le weekend avec un jour férié en plus! Je sais que c'est à cause de mon plombage de quelque mois...

Il y'a quelque mois, j'ai décidé d'aller chez le dentiste. Alors, je n'ai ni l'assurance médicale, ni l'assurance dentaire parce que je ne travaille pas en ce moment. Donc j'ai trouvé un dentiste où l'on accepte les gens sans assurance. Je paie $10 chaque fois que je vois le dentiste.

Donc, j'avais une cavité et j'ai pris un rendez-vous pour un plombage. Au rendez-vous, le dentiste n'a rien dit à moi, et il a fini par me donnant un conseil de prendre attention avec les repas et boissons froid, parce que le plombage était très profond. Donc j'ai pensé que d'accord...c'est pas mal - j'ai toujours eu les dents sensibles, donc c'est pas quelque chose de nouveau. Mais aujourd'hui, c'est pas la même histoire! Et je ne veux pas y retourner. Je n'en ai plus confiance donc demain, je vais téléphoner le Université de Pennsylvanie pour prendre un rendez-vous là-bas...pourvu qu'il ne soit pas trop cher...

Mais bref...je suis bien forte. Cela ne peut m'empêcher de m'amuser autant que possible! L samedi, je suis allée à un Meetup de groupe français. J'ai parlé un peu de français, et c'était très amusant parce qu'il y'avait des gens des niveaux différents, même les francophones. Après ça, je suis passée acheter des repas vietnamien du restaurant dont le nom m'échappe en ce moment...(qui était très bon - je n'ai pas attendu ça). Après, j'ai décidé de chercher le réponse à ma question de mon avenir - qu'est-ce que je veux faire avec ma vie. Mais, ça...c'est un quête continuel...ce que j'ai rendu compte, c'est que je peux choisir quelque-chose à essayer, et puis, si ça ne me va pas, je peux simplement le changer et alors...le prochain chapitre de ma vie

Note: image from www.dreamstime.com

2 more days, and then I'm off!

I'm starting to get excited - yes, so I'm a bit behind, but isn't the most important thing to have the realisation sometime before the said event!

So I'm leaving for Paris on Saturday - I've made a list and I'm checking it twice...I'm so tempted to just take a backpack with me, and see what happens...so what if I'm gone for almost 4 months - I can learn to love 2 outfits in high rotation!